Memories of my youth... :)

Hello there dear reader,

How are you all doing today? I am a little sad but I napped a lot and now I am feeling a little bit better...

My life has been insanely interesting, pun intended... I remember in school when some people joked around with mental health problems and talked about the hospital in Nokia called Pitkäniemi. I thought: "That is so interesting..." Maybe I felt like the people who go there are different and felt like I am also very different. I did not know WHY I was different. I found out in 2007 that I have aspergers and adhd. I went to all the tests in Stockholm because I lived there then. As a child I was actually bullied for ten years in school, from the first class, the very first day until 1997 in the fall when I got ill finally and went to Pitkäniemi to get better.

IF I could see my bullies and look them in the eye, I would say: "I forgive you. Just try to pull your life together. You can do it. Remember this lesson and learn from it. BYYEEE! :)" Sometimes still I feel the feelings like in my "muscle memory" some things that they did. They wet the chalk board sponge and threw it in my face. Oofé 'I can still feel the humiliation. But let's not dwell on all that negative poop.

I want to remember the good things. Being sometimes a kind of a control freak I get anxiety if I think about EVERYTHING I learned in school and not being able to remember it all so well anymore, that sucks...

Now I am a kind of hobby crazy lady :D I have my cats, they are my children of the furrier kind.

I collect Barbies and other fashion dolls, there are probably thousands of nuggets of information about this in my head :D I collect My little pony toys too, from the 80's and 90's... I read a lot. I watch booktube almost every day many hours often. I write in my journals, to a few magazines and of course these my blogs. I listen to music while doing everything :D Showertime: music, foodie time: music, knitting: music,writing: music... etc you get the idea. :)

Oofé nowI need to do some eating and watch.ing of the youtube. :D

BYYYEEE! :P

Comments

the Temple again :)

Good morning from Pleasant Grove, Utah, USA! Yesterday I visited my fourth Temple during my trip here in Utah. Now I have visited FOUR Temples here in Utah. Tomorrow I am going to the Orem, Utah Temple. Oh, the one I went to yesterday with my friend, is the Provo center Temple. It looks stunning in the evening... The lights around it and the beauty of the garden there, and of course the Temple it self. I really love going to the Temple. Now I understand why so many Temples are being announced all the time in Utah! Because people go there so often here! It is always booked full on any given day... I need to book my seat very early. It is amazing! My mom is calling me soon, better write quick! :D After the Temple me and my friend walked around the Temple grounds, almost ordered Domino's to a random ledge/edge we found to sit on, but were afraid we were "loitering"... So when the police car arrive, we were already on our way from the place we found. We went to the pizza pl...

Last weekend. Last Saturday. In Utah.

Good morning dear people! I had to delete that last post, I am sure I didn't quite think it through and I most certainly had almost all filters off hahhha. At least most of them and that is just plain stupid. I am sometimes tired when I write and then the TRUTH (?) comes out, or parts of it... My opinions are very strong most of the time and I don't need to alienate my readers further and/or make them think I am completely cuckoo. I am a little cuckoo, but honestly, there are far more people in the world who are cuckoo to the same degree, or maybe even more cuckoo than me... I just have a lot to say! Being bullied in school and at church and by people who have once called me their friend, that is not easy. In school I was a teeny tiny bit chubby, like maybe 5 kilos too heavy or something, so I was called fatso. EVERY DAY for 10 years I was bullied in school. Then my mini mission came and I couldn't sleep or rest for two weeks, maybe 4 hours a night. Try to survive THAT...

unrelated opinions and observations of my life and love.

Hello! SO. I have been having a wonderful time here in Utah, with and without some or most of my friends here. Some of them haven't made it here yet, because school starts for them soon. I am happy to have been spending time with my hosts, other friends and new acquaintances. I don't think I am that upset about all the other people ignoring my messages. That's how it goes sometimes. Someday I would love to be surprised by something nice that would happen, like friendship and relationship-wise. But it's ok. I am not in a hurry. About that. I am sorry to say but so many of my "friends" in Finland have bullied me and put me down for basically all my life. Some maybe out of jealousy, some people are just vicious, it seems... The phrase: "You will get a husband in Heaven" and it many iterations have been prevalent. I have been brainwashed to believe I am worthless. By my so-called "best friends". I mean, they are mostly all married and have a ...

Cinders' story

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