Skip to main content

Sunday morning...

 Good morning! 

Yesterday I went to the Temple: Saratoga Springs, with my friend Ellinor. It was so nice. 

A few observations of the Temple: It is so BIG! Wau. Also, the people smiled a lot more and also were not at all stressful or anything. I really love the Temple. It is the best place to go when you're sad. Last post was weird, so sorry... I feel often like people misunderstand me on purpose! It is very frustrating.

Then they often put unreasonable expectations on me. Like: "CHANGE! NOW! Do this, do that. Your illness is just an excuse!" etc. Well, first of all, I don't have my diagnosis for nothing, you know. If you except perfection from me, you will be very disappointed. I will need to stop waiting for perfect understanding and sympathy from them! That's it! Easy. lol.

I am done with people (at times).

Also, they tell me not to judge anyone. Then they turn around and judge me. Way to go! 

It is easy for me to judge other people who love to judge me and others. It is an evil circle. HA!

I often don't understand why some of my friends are angry or upset with me... I really don't have a crystal ball or anything. They tell me some things they think I am doing wrong and I don't understand how that is upsetting to them?!? My mind is flabbergasted often. Boggled. I am a living question mark...

I better stop thinking about this because it doesn't help trying to figure it out.

I just wish to be left alone at times. Yesterday I slept three hours after my visit to the Temple. 

So far today I have chatted with my mom and auntie through WhatsApp and just listened to music and I took my medicine, Yes, I have medicine that help me through the days. I have been taking medicine since I was 17 and became ill on my mini mission. So a looong time.

Soon I am getting ready for the day. 

More later!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

the Temple again :)

Good morning from Pleasant Grove, Utah, USA! Yesterday I visited my fourth Temple during my trip here in Utah. Now I have visited FOUR Temples here in Utah.  Tomorrow I am going to the Orem, Utah Temple. Oh, the one I went to yesterday with my friend, is the Provo center Temple. It looks stunning in the evening... The lights around it and the beauty of the garden there, and of course the Temple it self. I really love going to the Temple. Now I understand why so many Temples are being announced all the time in Utah! Because people go there so often here! It is always booked full on any given day... I need to book my seat very early. It is amazing! My mom is calling me soon, better write quick! :D  After the Temple me and my friend walked around the Temple grounds, almost ordered Domino's to a random ledge/edge we found to sit on, but were afraid we were "loitering"... So when the police car arrive, we were already on our way from the place we found. We went to the pizza pl...
Post a Comment
Read more

Last weekend. Last Saturday. In Utah.

 Good morning dear people!  I had to delete that last post, I am sure I didn't quite think it through and I most certainly had almost all filters off hahhha. At least most of them and that is just plain stupid. I am sometimes tired when I write and then the TRUTH (?) comes out, or parts of it... My opinions are very strong most of the time and I don't need to alienate my readers further and/or make them think I am completely cuckoo. I am a little cuckoo, but honestly, there are far more people in the world who are cuckoo to the same degree, or maybe even more cuckoo than me... I just have a lot to say!  Being bullied in school and at church and by people who have once called me their friend, that is not easy. In school I was a teeny tiny bit chubby, like maybe 5 kilos too heavy or something, so I was called fatso. EVERY DAY for 10 years I was bullied in school. Then my mini mission came and I couldn't sleep or rest for two weeks, maybe 4 hours a night. Try to survive THAT...
Post a Comment
Read more

About mental health and the stigma

 Dear readers, A moment ago I finally realized why I have the urgent and important need to write a lot. Especially about mental health, my personal experiences and all the knowledge and wisdom that I have gathered during these years. I want to raise awareness, I want to help remove the stigma, I want to tell my story. In August 2027 my mental health journey started 30 years ago, when I was 17 years old. It is a kind of celebration for me. How far I have made it, how strong and resilient I have become. It has taught me so much. At times I know more than the doctors and nurses. I am a pro. I have learned everything about the medicines that I have been given. A few days ago it hit me, I am not a loser and I have not lost this fight with my mental heath problems. I have conquered the problems, it has not overcome my mind or soul. Anyway, the way it all started was that I was bullied in school for 10 years. Other places I spent time in were not completely safe either. When I was 17 year...
Post a Comment
Read more