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Difficulties and health problems along the path of life

 Dear reader,

Today there is no rant. There might be some opinions about difficulties in life, but I will try to look on the bright side. Just facts, happy talk and hope to become better. I am over the negative stuff and I feel like I need to get over a lot of the grudges I have been holding against some people and let go of the resentment, let it go and become a better woman. Holding onto a grudge doesn't help me. It has been making my life  really sad and pathetic.

First of all, my dad is in the final stages of his life. There is a lot of health problems he is suffering from and they are taking their toll. My dad used to go for long distance walks most of his life. He never did just sit in front of the TV all day or such. I loved going on walks with him and these past few years his knees has been getting worse, they have done their part, so to speak. I am sad and worried for the end of my dad's life. He is 1/3 of our family unit! We only got FATHER MOTHER CHILD, in our family. Of course the cats are the furry grandchildren. (Plus the missionaries who have been varying family members like big brother, grandson, daughter etc.)  They have helped me so much. Every time I have needed support, I have wanted to help them and make their work easier and more pleasant. I always have felt good helping them, it has helped me too. And of course they have also just helped me a lot. 

THANK YOU SO MUCH MISSIONARIES! 

(I don't think the ones still serving here can read this blog yet, but maybe someday.)

So. My dad's deteriorating health is one of the issues in my life. One of the other issues is that some of the missionaries have been angry with me and it has been a mess. No one knows who said what to whom. I hope it will get better soon, because my life situation rn doesn't need more drama, especially from people I usually have been able to trust and lean on from time to time.

ANYWAYS...

My health has also gotten a lil bit worse. My right leg has a damaged nerve and it is causing a lot of pain, there are some "pain attacks" a few times a day. If it's a good day, maybe once or twice. I went to a testing and the doctor put electric shocks in my legs, and also some long needles that tested my nerves, I don't know but it HURTS! My doctor said that she gives me her "blessing" to use the wheelchair outside and I need a friend to push me around. Because I am heavy (even though I have released approximately 40 pounds, 20 kg) and there are a lot of hills and bumps around in my city. This is not in any way a flat country lol :D

I also have a fatigue that never lets go. When I am tired I get sad and sometimes I get anxiety. A lot less frequently though. But the fatigue never lets go of its hold on me... It is kinda weird, but when I lost the huge amount of weight recently, I have gotten a lot more energy.

My mom has been really tired and worn out. She is the nurse for my dad at home.

Now I have told you enough for today. If you are a returned missionary sister or elder, who has served in Finland and you are reading this, I wish you all the best and I will try to figure out a possibility to come visit Utah again next year and we will have another reunion. :) thank you.

BYEEE!!! :D 

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