Dear readers,
A moment ago I finally realized why I have the urgent and important need to write a lot. Especially about mental health, my personal experiences and all the knowledge and wisdom that I have gathered during these years. I want to raise awareness, I want to help remove the stigma, I want to tell my story.
In August 2027 my mental health journey started 30 years ago, when I was 17 years old. It is a kind of celebration for me. How far I have made it, how strong and resilient I have become. It has taught me so much. At times I know more than the doctors and nurses. I am a pro. I have learned everything about the medicines that I have been given. A few days ago it hit me, I am not a loser and I have not lost this fight with my mental heath problems. I have conquered the problems, it has not overcome my mind or soul.
Anyway, the way it all started was that I was bullied in school for 10 years. Other places I spent time in were not completely safe either. When I was 17 years old, I wanted to serve a mini-mission. I was called to Jyväskylä, I spent two weeks there with my two companions sisar Barnes and Free. From the first day there, I can remember symptoms of my mental health problems beginning. I have told this to many friends, I am very open about this, about my history as a person struggling with mental health problems. I have never tried to hide it. I am not a fake person, I don't lie or conceal things.
At times people tell me how I am so brave to keep on going, in spite of all the problems.
Most often though, I am bullied, belittled, put down and even shunned because of my problems.
People just don't understand it. They have not learned anything, they have prejudices.
The reason I want to write this, is so that you can learn, understand, so that others who have these problems would be understood and treated better than I have been treated. There are a lot of tragedies in life, this is just one of them. It has helped me to feel compassion and empathy, it has made me stronger and wiser.
If you want to learn more about some things I have experienced and learned, I hope to tell you.
When I got ill in August 1997, I spent eight months in the hospital, on the youth ward, in the hospital Pitkäniemi, in the nearby city of Nokia, here in Pirkanmaa. The wards have since been moved over to an area near the main hospital TAYS in Tampere.
The feelings, thoughts, experiences that I am writing about are mine. We all experience things differently. There are so many different illnesses and diagnosis. I hardly even know everything about my own illnesses. The doctors have given me so many different diagnoses, and changed them when they have learned more about me and my problems.
I will continue this more later.
TA!
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