Cinders' story

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the magic of maintaining good mental health

HI! Rants are over. You do you, sis bro and everyone. I have had mental health problems since I was 17. My first diagnoses were psychosis and my development in my teenage years were locked and eventually very delayed. Even I can see how I were a lot younger in my head, and have been a little delayed in all my emotional, mental and I didn't grow up until fairly recently. The reason? Trauma. I was bullied in school for 10 years, on my mini mission in Jyväskylä my first psychosis started. Medication has been keeping me going for these 28 years since... It also made me feel a deep gratitude for all the missionaries, who supported me so much during my time in the hospital (8 months in total), and ever since. Except a few months last year when we had a "little disagreement". I sobbed for months. I have been trying to put it all behind me. The thing is, in fact, that people should not throw stones, unless they are perfect. Don't get me started! :D Haha! Here are some ways...

Good afternoon dear peeps! :)

Good time zones and time of the days to you all! I hope you're all doing well. I am doing really well. My leg hurts often and a lot, I need to rest a lot. It gets worse when I help take care of my dad. I lift, shift and turn him, move him in the wheelchair etc. It is a lot of physical work so my leg is a lot worse now. My back problems are like a pigeon's fart in the desert compared to my leg situation hahhah! :D My leg is like a sandstorm or something lol. Really awful. My favorite cousin visited us on Friday, she is a surgeon. She told me it probably is a nerve damage and maybe also a infection or whatever it's called, in the hip area or something. So it is maybe not just one thing, but two! Oh man! It is awful... I wanted to travel to Utah this year again... Let's hope a miracle happens! :) <3 I am doing a lot better mentally, even when problems happen and I am tired, worried and sad. I don't feel depressed or anxious. I know all the ways I can relieve anxie...

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2025

Good time zones everybody! HAPPY NEW YEAR! Let 2025 be a year of hope and positive change. Last year I experienced a lot of interesting, exciting and nice things. I learned SO much! I began to become an adult, more self-confident and happier and safer, braver and just very good at some things. I started trusting myself and God more. I am not scared of as many things than a year ago. Things I want to do and learn this year: Continue reading the Book of Mormon every day choose good books and good music pray a lot do more genealogy work and do more Temple work There is so much to learn and understand. The first thing to know is that you cannot know or understand everything, and neither can the people around you... Life has so many lessons for us all. They are all individual study plans and the learning will continue in the millennia and even after that. Don't compare yourself with anyone but your own former self. Because we are not all at the same point on our learning curves... I ha...

Things accomplished this year, against all odds...

Good morning, day, afternoon and night! Hope you are all doing well. I am doing so good. My leg is often in horrible, unbearable pain but it goes away after a while, it's like a "pain attack". Laat night I went to the ER here in Jakobstad and they injected a painkiller in my leg... It didn't help a long time. This morning I was writhing in pain again. It is not fun. But it makes all my other health issues seem small and insignificant. So, to say it bluntly: My depression is almost gone or like without symptoms! That is FINE. :D Makes me happy! Like, literally! HAHHAH. My cats are doing well. My mom is tired and exhausted. Me and my mom are taking care of my ailing dad. He is in Palliative care. So... We lift him up out of bed a few times a day. He sleeps a lot, sometimes he is restless... Here's what y'all clicked on this post for... Things I have accomplished in 2024: I gained a lot of self-confidence. I believe in myself and in my potential as a future wi...

Light the world! :)

Good afternoon from Jakobstad! Happy Christmas time! :) I hope whoever reads this, will be happy and feel joy and keep on going no matter what is thrown at them. I believe you can do it! I believe everyone can endure through all the difficulties in their lives. In Finland we have this thing called SISU. Google it... I am happy today. I have napped a lot and my parents are still napping. The missionaries in this ward are coming to visit us tonight and brining us the sacrament and my parents will meet the new elder here in this ward. He is from Washington state and he knows some of my best missionary friends. :) I love meeting new people who know my people lol. Yesterday we had the Jakobstad's ward Christmas party. It was fun. Today I was too tired to go to church. My dad is really sick and we take care of him with my mom 24/7. My cats are doing well, they love visiting my parents, their grandparents... lol. They love snuggling with my mom and they love her when she give...

Depression in the dark

Good morninng or whatever time it is when you read this! I hope you're doing well. I have been feeling a lot better than I usually feel in November. I think that my depression hasn't been bothering me for a while now. I am feeling a lot better, especially mentally. My right leg has a neurological damage and my leg is often very painful and I have no pain meds for it, because the pain is in the NERVE, no regular pain medicine can help and I have heard you get very loopy of the nerve pain kind of meds lol. I do NOT want to be loopy! Especially not from a medicine! I have been feeling a lot more stable and even in my emotional life. I have been at home a lot. My friend Johanna helped me a lot many times when I needed to get around. I use a wheelchair outside my home. Because if I get a pain attack in my leg, I really can't walk and/or stand. Yesterday I had a lot of pain because on Sunday I needed to use my walker a bit at church. The pain came a little late, but it did come...